something special

                              (NICHOLAS appears at the top of the stairs. He spreads his arms and smiles wide to greet his guests, walking slowly down the stairs) 

NICHOLAS Welcome!

 

COMPANY            WELCOME!

 

NICHOLAS           Welcome!

 

COMPANY            WELCOME!

 

NICHOLAS           Welcome!

 

COMPANY            WELCOME!

 

NICHOLAS           WELCOME! TONIGHT WE'RE SHOWING SOMETHING SPECIAL.

                                    AN ENERGY IS BUZZING THROUGH THE GALLERY

                                    WELCOME, MY FRIENDS, TONIGHT IS VERY SPECIAL.

                                    SPECIAL AS I'M SURE YOU'LL AGREE!

                                   HAVE SOME STRAWBERRIES, OR SPARKLING WINE.

                                    COOKIES, CRACKERS, CHEESE.

                                    THE CAVIAR WILL SIMPLY MAKE YOU SWOON.

                                    THOSE GORGEOUS GRAPES ARE JUST DIVINE,

                                    BUT WATCH OUT FOR THE SEEDS

                                    YOU'LL FORGIVE ME OF COURSE

                                    IF MY VOICE SOUNDS HOARSE,

                                    BUT I'VE BEEN SHOUTING ALL AFTERNOON

                                    

                                    ABOUT TONIGHT! TONIGHT YOU'RE IN FOR SOMETHING SPECIAL:

                                    THE WORK OF MY ADOPTIVE BROTHER GREGORY.

                                    POOR BOY'S BEEN SLAVING OVER SOMETHING SPECIAL,

                                    SOMETHING THAT I KNOW YOU'LL WANT TO SEE.

                                    

                                    GATHER 'ROUND AND WITNESS HISTORY. 

                                    WHY HE'S STILL OBSCURE'S A MYSTERY.

                                    SO STEP RIGHT UP AND BUY ONE.

                                    THE SHRIMP IS SCRUMPTIOUS, TRY ONE!

 

COMPANY            THEY'RE SOMETHING VERY SPECIAL, INDEED.

 

PATRON 1             (approaching NICHOLAS) Nicholas, your adoptive brother's paintings are exquisite.

                                    

NICHOLAS           What can I say? The cultivation of beauty runs in our family.

                                    Do you doubt it? Take a look at me:

 

                                    (The guests swirl around NICHOLAS as they sing.)

 

BOYS                        HE BUYS HIS SUITS AT NORDI'S. 

 

GIRLS                      HIS SHIRTS HE BUYS AT SAK'S.

 

NICHOLAS           THE SALESGIRLS THINK IT'S SPORTING

                                    WHEN I SCRUTINIZE THEIR RACKS.

                                    THEY'RE ALWAYS UP FOR WRANGLING

                                    BEFORE GETTING IN THE SACK.

                                    YES, THE BEST POSTURE FOR BARGAINING

                                    IS LYING ON YOUR BACK.

                  

GIRLS                      HE ALWAYS SHOWS UP TARDY

                                    TO A FASHIONABLE PARTY,

 

BOYS                        SO AS TO SHOW THE HOSTESS 

                                    WHO IS BOSS.

 

NICHOLAS           WHEN FINALLY I ARRIVE 

                                    THE DYING SHINDIG COMES ALIVE.

                                    AND WHILE I ENTHRALL HER GUESTS

                                    SHE GETS MORE AND MORE DISTRESSED,

                                    'TIL THE HARPY LEAVES

                                    THE PARTY TO ME

                                    AND GOES OUT TO GET SAUCED.

 

                                    BUT YOU SOMETIMES SEE 

                                    A PART OF ME

                                    THAT'S GENTLE AND REFINED

                                    A NIGHT OUT AT THE SYMPHONY 

                                    HELPS ME TO UNWIND.

                                    I DEVOUR GREAT THICK NOVELS, 

                                    I DRINK UP HEADY PLAYS

                                    OF COURSE I HAUNT THE GALLERIES, 

                                    AND NOT JUST ON FIRST THURSDAYS.

 

GIRLS                      ALL THE SPA GIRLS FIGHT FOR HIM 

                                    WHEN HE GOES IN FOR A RUB.

 

BOYS                        ALL THE BOUNCERS BOW TO HIM

                                    WHEN HE PULLS UP TO THE CLUB.

 

NICHOLAS           RISING FROM MY SILVER CAR, I'M QUITE A SIGHT TO SEE

                                    …OH, BUT PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE, MY FRIENDS

                                    PLEASE, TAKE IT EASY, FRIENDS

                                    PLEASE, THAT'S ENOUGH ABOUT ME!

 

                                    YOU'RE HERE TONIGHT BECAUSE WE'RE SHOWING SOMETHING SPECIAL:

                                    THE ATMOSPHERE IS FRAUGHT WITH ELECTRICITY

                                    YOU LUCKY SOULS ARE IN FOR SOMETHING SPECIAL—

 

                                    (Suddenly the scene moves in slow motion as PATRONS begin to drift off the stage. NICHOLAS wanders among them, protesting and motioning for them to stay..

                                    Finally, NICHOLAS is alone onstage. Donwcast, he ascends the stairs.)

                                    

                                    AH, YES TONIGHT, TONIGHT COULD HAVE BEEN SOMETHING SPECIAL

                                    IF IT WEREN'T FOR MY ADOPTIVE BROTHER'S MEDIOCRITY

                                    I COULD REALLY HAVE MADE THIS EVENING SOMETHING SPECIAL

                                    AS IT IS IT'S ONLY A DREAM.

 

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