then there’s brad

ANNE MARIE
I mean, just because he makes all this money, he thinks ... Oh, I don’t know.

BETTY SUE
No tell me.

ANNE MARIE
HE BRAGS.
I GAG.
HE’S LATE.
IT GRATES.
HE WINKS.
I SHRINK.
HE THINKS HE’S GREAT.
HE TALKS OF STOCKS.
I CAN’T RELATE.
I LOVE HIM.

BETTY SUE
DO YOU?

ANNE MARIE
I DO.
HE HITS THE GYM.
HE’S GOT SEX APPEAL.
HE BUYS ME STUFF,
BUT HE RARELY ASKS HOW I FEEL.

BETTY SUE
(sarcastically)
SOUNDS TOUGH.

ANNE MARIE
HE’S GOT A YACHT AND TWO CORVETTES,
YOU’D THINK HE WOULD GET A CLUE?

BETTY SUE
Want my opinion?

ANNE MARIE
Sure.

BETTY SUE
Why put up with it? You’re young and pretty. You could have any man you want. And, believe me, there are all kinds of men out there.

THERE ARE MEN WHO ARE KNIGHTS IN SHINING ARMOR:
VERITABLE GALLAHADS.
THERE ARE FIGHTERS AND SMITERS, WIZARDS AND CHARMERS BUILT LIKE THE HERO IN THE ILIAD.
THERE ARE MEN WITH A RANGE OF EMOTIONS BEYOND HORNY, HUNGRY, AND MAD.
THERE ARE MEN WHO’VE ADVENTURED ACROSS SEVEN OCEANS. THERE ARE THOSE MEN, THEN THERE’S BRAD.

THERE ARE MEN WHO ARE NATURAL BORN CARETAKERS:
TEACHERS AND DOCTORS AND SINGLE DADS.
MEN WHO LOVE FOOD: SOUS CHEFS AND BAKERS.
SENSITIVE MEN, LIKE IN THOSE SHAVE CREAM ADS.
THERE ARE MEN WHOSE PATH
TO THEIR HEART REALLY IS THROUGH THEIR STOMACH, NOT THEIR ’NADS!
THERE ARE MEN, DON’T LAUGH, WHO READ SYLVIA PLATH. THERE ARE THOSE MEN, THEN THERE’S BRAD.

THERE ARE MEN WHO ARE HIP: INTO MUSIC AND ART. DON’T YOU WANT TO WAKE UP IN A COOL LOFT PAD?
MEN WHO ARE EDUCATED, WELL-READ, AND SMART,
WHO STUDIED SOMETHING USEFUL FOR THEIR UNDERGRAD.

THERE ARE MEN INTO KAMA SUTRA
WHO’LL LIGHT UP BODY PARTS YOU DIDN’T KNOW YOU HAD.

THERE ARE MEN WHO ARE INTO P.D.A.
WHO LOVE KIDS AND TRULY WANT TO HAVE ’EM SOMEDAY,
WHO EXPRESS THEMSELVES AND HAVE SOMETHING TO SAY,
WHO SURPRISE YOU EVERY YEAR ON VALENTINE’S DAY,
WHO ASK FOR DIRECTIONS WHEN THEY’VE LOST THEIR WAY, WHO ARE GORGEOUS, INTO FASHION, AND YET NOT GAY!
THERE ARE THOSE MEN, AND THEN THERE’S BRAD!

then there’s brad

reclinerland hq

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