Download the piano/vocal score.

how many petals?

CATHERINE
WELL, HELLO. I’M MADAME HUBERT.

CHARLOTTE
CHARLOTTE.

CATHERINE
PRETTY FLOWERS, CHARLOTTE. WHATCHA DOING?

CHARLOTTE
SCIENCE.

CATHERINE
(suspicious)
OH! I SEE.
DROPPING PETALS INTO WATER. BREWING...
TEA?
WHAT HYPOTHESIS
CAN YOU TEST DOING THIS?

CHARLOTTE
I DON'T KNOW.
I JUST LIKE THE RIPPLES.

CATHERINE
GO ON; SHOW ME.

(CHARLOTTE drops another petal into the water during the following.)

VERY PRETTY, INDEED.
CHARLOTTE, I NEED
TO ASK YOU SOMETHING.
JUST A DUMB THING.

CHARLOTTE
OKAY.

CATHERING
HOW MANY PETALS DO YOU HAVE, DEAR,
IF YOU HAD FIVE HERE
AND YOU TOOK TWO?

CHARLOTTE
BEATS ME.

CATHERINE
BUT, CHARLOTTE, JUST COUNT THEM ON YOUR HAND.

(CHARLOTTE gives her a blank look.)

YOU UNDERSTAND?
ONE, TWO, THREE?

CATHERINE
Nothing? Okay.
TELL ME, CHARLOTTE,
IN PLACE OF ONE FLOWER LET'S PRETEND,
THAT I HAVE TEN.
HOW MANY PETALS WOULD YOU HAVE THEN?

CHARLOTTE
NO CLUE.

CATHERINE
BUT, SURELY, YOU CAN TELL ME TEN TIMES FIVE.

CHARLOTTE
IT’S FIFTY THOUSAND.

CATHERINE
SAKES ALIVE!

CHARLOTTE
THIS KIND OF FLOWER HAS FIVE PETALS, I THINK.
I JUST LIKE TO WATCH THEM SINK.
THEY MAKE TINY SWISHES.
LIKE LITTLE FISHES.
WHEN I TAKE
ONE MAKE
A WISH, BUT DON'T TELL ME WHAT YOUR WISH IS.

CHARLOTTE
(to herself)
THIS MIGHT BE TOO AMBITIOUS...

(CATHERINE takes out a piece of paper and pen from her purse and writes the number 50 on a piece of paper.)

RIGHT, THEN, CHARLOTTE,
TELL ME, DO YOU RECOGNIZE THIS NUMBER?

CHARLOTTE
THAT'S A SKI JUMPER.
AND A BALL OF SNOW.

CATHERINE
WHAT ABOUT THIS DIGIT IN THE TENS PLACE?

CHARLOTTE
I SEE A LION FACE.
AND THAT’S A HIP “O”

(Getting frustrated, CATHERINE writes the word "five" on the paper.)

CATHERINE
CHARLOTTE, CAN YOU READ THIS WORD I'VE WRITTEN?

CHARLOTTE
F-FLOWER...

CATHERINE
(to herself)
SHIT.

(to CHARLOTTE)
INDEED, THE FIRST LETTER WAS SPOT ON.
SPEAKING OF FLOWERS, HOW ABOUT YOU DRAW ONE?

(The music vamps as CHARLOTTE takes the pencil, but struggles to keep it in her hand. Evidently she has trouble even holding it. With effort, she eventually draws the flower. She then slams down the pencil and the paper. Vamp continues under the following.)

CHARLOTTE
There.

CATHERINE
(Disturbed)
Charlotte. Yes, I...I sort of see a flower there. How about if you give it some color. Try this...

(CATHERINE takes a pink colored pencil from her satchel and hands it to CHARLOTTE, who recoils at the sight of it. MARCUS sees her and hastily approaches, interrupting the music.)

MARCUS
No! She can't have pink!

(Music stops as MARCUS snatches the pink pencil from CATHERINE’S hand and crams it into his pocket.)

CATHERINE
(visibly disturbed)
Mister Doran...

MARCUS
Look. Madame Hubert...your spot is over there.

CATHERINE
Excuse me, Mister Doran, but this poor girl doesn't know how to perform basic mathematical operations, nor can she read numbers, or words. She can't even hold a pencil. What exactly are these children learning?

(A child chimes a singing bowl and the CHILDREN file out of the room. CHARLOTTE stands in between CATHERINE and MARCUS.)

CHARLOTTE
Come on, Daddy, let's go outside. We're building fairy houses.

MARCUS
(with affection)
Marcus, Sweetie. Fatherhood is a box. And we reject boxes.

CHARLOTTE
(to CATHERINE)
Marcus is a fucking genius.

MARCUS
(a little laugh, then a backpedal)
That's enough, Charlotte. Thank you. You head out with the others. I'll see you after school.

(CHARLOTTE gives MARCUS a kiss on the cheek before leaving the classroom.)

CATHERINE
Colorful language. Did you teach her that?

MARCUS
(with a smirk)
Naturally. French is one of the commission scolaire’s elective courses.

(a beat, seeing she’s not amused)

I don't control her.

CATHERINE
Yes, it looks like you have very little control. Where are they going?

MARCUS
Outside.

CATHERINE
To play? Having done nothing all morning?

MARCUS
The Rest is over. It’s Rebirth.

CATHERINE
Re-what?

MARCUS
Free play until woodworking and grounds keeping in the afternoon. Main Lesson, Rest, morning Rebirth, afternoon Journey. It’s our daily cycle.

CATHERINE
Story time, singing and dancing, free-for-all, then crafts and hard labor? When do they actually learn anything, Mister Doran?

(Music resumes under the following.)

MARCUS
Oo, is it chilly in here to you? You don’t sound like a trainee.

CATHERINE
You're right, Mister Doran, I'm not training to be a "Sacred Lotus" person. The truth is, I’ve been assigned to this classroom. I'm your new co-teacher.

MARCUS
Co-teacher? Can’t be. There’s only one Utapaya in Sacred Lotus classrooms.

CATHERINE
Uta-what?

MARCUS
It’s Sanskrit. For "gardener."

CATHERINE
You mean for "teacher?"

MARCUS
(lets out a laugh)
I’m not a "teacher."

CATHERINE
(not amused)
Evidently!
WHY CAN'T THAT POOR GIRL HOLD A PENCIL?
IT'S INDEFENSIBLE.
AND WHAT'S WITH PINK?

MARCUS
EXPOSURE TO PINK POSES A DETRIMENT
TO HER DEVELOPMENT.

CATHERINE
WHAT HAVE YOU HAD TO DRINK?

MARCUS
(impatient, but maintaining his cool)
MADAME HUBERT, IF MY METHOD PEAKS YOUR INTEREST,
WELL, I HAVE COUNTLESS
BOOKS I COULD SEND YOUR WAY.
IN THE MEANTIME, I REALLY HAVE NO USE FOR
A CO-TEACHER.
HAVE A GOOD DAY.

CATHERINE
I BEG YOUR PARDON, THIS IS WHERE I'VE BEEN ASSIGNED.
IF YOU WANT ME GONE, TAKE IT UP WITH MONSIEUR FIENNES.
I ASSUME YOU KNOW WHO HE IS.

MARCUS
OH, YES. I SEE.
SO IT’S FIXED?
YOU'RE WITH ME?
THAT'S WHAT HIS
MAJESTY'S DECREE IS?
WHY DON'T YOU TELL YOUR PUPPETEER
EVERYTHING'S FINE HERE.
NO NEED TO INTERFERE.

CATHERINE
I'LL DO NO SUCH THING. I BEG TO DIFFER.
THAT GIRL HAS DIFFICULTY. AND IF HER
LEVEL'S TYPICAL OF ALL THE REST
I THINK IT’S BEST
THAT HE KNOW.

MARCUS
SO, WHY DON'T WE GO
AND SEE HIM NOW.

CATHERINE
(defiant)
Yes. Let's.

MARCUS
(broadly gesturing toward the door)
AFTER YOU, MADAME...

(Music plays out as CATHERINE harumphs and exits the spotlight, MARCUS follows, then hesitates for a moment to mutter under his breath)
‘OLIER-THAN-THOU.

(MARCUS exits.)

Word and music by Michael Johnson
© 2022, Zubsongs, Ltd.