Mike is in serious trouble...

Hello? Is this thing working? Okay good. Hi people, it's me, Lily. Dude, Mike is in serious trouble when he gets home. Dude has been gone all day! I've already batted all my toy mice under the fridge, my quaint little "hedgehog on a shoelace" toy is completely in shambles, and my food bowl is half empty! (Yes, I'm a pessimist). What's up with that? I mean I'm a cute cat! How could he neglect me like this! So, I thought I'd sneak onto his computer and take over his little blog in order to get even. I figure you all could use a little break from his "creative" ramblings. How many times can you read about chord changes? I mean, who does he think he is? Like the world cares about his freakin' rhyme schemes! I'm a hungry cat, people. Enough about Mike, let's talk about me!

This is another shot of me lying on the floor. I do that a lot. Hey, this is a tiny apartment, so there isn't much for me to do. In the daytime while Mike is away, I like to stare out the window, yap at the birds on the power lines, sleep, and do laps around the apartment. Oh, and sometimes I mew at people passing by in the hallway outside the door. Oh, and I also like to climb on top of things, like the refrigerator and the television. Sometimes it's fun to dump a bunch of Mike's books on the floor. He likes to come home to a pile of books. Trust me. He loves it. He'd better.

Here's me opening up a serious can all over someone's ass. I'm cute and all, but I can be deadly. Seriously. I'm real mysterious. One minute I'm all cuddly and purring, the next minute: HIYA! I'm not kidding.

Here's another of my moods. This is one of me feeling all sexy. There's a cat at the end of the hall in our building that I like to flirt with from time to time. I roll around in front of him growling and hissing. I like to watch him get all upset when he finds out I'm fixed. Poor guy. Are male kittys capable of thinking about anything else? No wonder they're so demure all the time. Mike's pretty much a pushover when I get looking like this. He lets me walk on the counters and even climb up on the table when he's eating. Dude, speaking of which, where is Mike? Seriously. Before he left he was listening to some music. I'm not sure what it was because I can't read the writing on the clear box that the silver disc comes in, but I'm pretty sure it was him singing. He sings a lot. He sings in the shower, while he's cooking, all the time. I don't mind it, but sometimes when I'm trying to sleep it gets a bit annoying. Sometimes he sings really loudly while he's pounding on the long black thingy with the many white levers. He does that a lot. I try to climb up on the thing and lay across his fingers, or attack them, you know, to shut him up. But he gets mad and squirts me. So I get revenge by chewing through the little cord that powers the things he puts on his ears. We're a happy family.

Alright, well, I'm getting bored of this now. If any of you happen to see Mike, tell him to come home! I need someone to dangle my mangled hedgehog toy in front of my face so I can attack it. Besides I kind of miss the guy. He talks to me a lot. I suppose to you that seems kind of pathetic, but for me it's nice. I like to be talked to, even though the only thing I understand is my name and the word NO. The latter means I've done something bad. The former means i'm supposed to come. Yeah right. What am I, a dog? Please. Just tell Mike to get home if you see him, okay? Thanks.

Oh, and goodnight.