Heroin
I played a nice show last night. Reading Frenzy was having a benefit for the IPRC and my friend Kevin was celebrating the release of his new book. He invited me to play. It was a beautiful experience. I haven't played live in some time now; about a year. I guess I sort of got burned out on doing solo shows last year after a disastrous gig at the bar called Roture. After blanking out on the stage in front of the 5 loudly chatting audience members and leaving the stage after 3 songs, I just thought I should take a little break. And I did. But you know, sitting on that little chair, looking out into the darkness, seeing the vague dark shapes out there, feeling the lights on me, letting the images from the songs play through my head, listening to my fingers on autopilot plucking with the sound floating up at me, was the best feeling. That feeling of really wanting to sing to those people, to make them feel good, bubbling up in my tummy. It's the best. Heroin addicts say that first hit after they get out of rehab is the best. Something about cleansing your body makes taking the drug feel like it's the first time all over again. Something like that happened to me. Although, as soon as I finished playing the usual darker feelings crept in. That emptiness. The loneliest feeling in the world is lugging your equipment home all by yourself in a cab. The most profound part of the experience was the feeling that I didn't have anything to gain from playing the show. I was doing it out of pure pleasure. No CDs to hock, no hipsters to avoid, no schmoozing to do, no one to suck up to, none of it. I was just entertaining the audience and showing my friend Kevin the new songs I wrote about his stories. I think the hiatus cleansed me. Now I just jones to be up on stage again.
I recorded another song today called Egg Hunt for A Common Pornography. I'm really insecure about Garage Band and my mixing skills. I have this Korg electric piano instead of a real one, and I thought, well, if Daniel Johnston can make low-fi recordings sound honest and sweet, why can't I? And yet, I can't seem to get the crackles out, or the little buzzing noises. All the equalizers and digital knobs and effects. It's all so confusing. I'm a pen and paper man, through and through. Despite my misgivings, I'm having a great time recording on a laptop in my apartment. I think the songs are coming out great. I've got 5 written, and 3 recorded. Life is good.
I really need a forum for talking about writing this play, so I'm going to devote the next few posts to that. Also, I'm going to start doing some posts about the process of writing these little Common Pornography songs. I was talking to someone last night about the process of turning someone's prose into lyrics. I think it would be valuable to reflect about it here. So, more later.
I recorded another song today called Egg Hunt for A Common Pornography. I'm really insecure about Garage Band and my mixing skills. I have this Korg electric piano instead of a real one, and I thought, well, if Daniel Johnston can make low-fi recordings sound honest and sweet, why can't I? And yet, I can't seem to get the crackles out, or the little buzzing noises. All the equalizers and digital knobs and effects. It's all so confusing. I'm a pen and paper man, through and through. Despite my misgivings, I'm having a great time recording on a laptop in my apartment. I think the songs are coming out great. I've got 5 written, and 3 recorded. Life is good.
I really need a forum for talking about writing this play, so I'm going to devote the next few posts to that. Also, I'm going to start doing some posts about the process of writing these little Common Pornography songs. I was talking to someone last night about the process of turning someone's prose into lyrics. I think it would be valuable to reflect about it here. So, more later.