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MONSIEUR FIENNE’S ADDRESS - YOU’VE GOT IT!

MONSIEUR FIENNES
AND SO, DISTINGUISHED PARENTS,
ESTEEMED MEMBERS OF THE BOARD,
I MEAN THIS WITH ALL DUE RESPECT.

I TRUST YOU’LL AGREE
NOW THAT YOU SEE
WHAT'S COME TO PASS
IN DORAN'S CLASS,
THAT IT'S REALLY NOTHING SHORT OF NEGLECT.

PARENT
COME ON, FIENNES, YOU EXAGGERATE.

PARENT
MY CHILD, FOR ONE, ADORES

HIM!
PARENT
IF I MAY, FIENNES, LET ME BE DIRECT:
NO ONE ELSE GETS THE FIRE BURNING
INSPIRES MY BOY
TO ENJOY
HIS LEARNING.

PARENT
WITHOUT SOME TEACHER BREATHING DOWN HIS NECK.

PARENTS
YOU CAN'T JUST HIJACK THE CHILDREN’S PROCESS.
JUST TO STIR UP A HORNET’S NEST.

PARENT
MY CHILD IS FINALLY FINDING SUCCESS!

PARENT
OH, YES!
ME TOO.
THIS SCHOOL IS WHERE MY PRECIOUS CHOU-CHOU
LEARNS BEST!

MONSIER FIENNES
WHILE I'M GLAD TO HEAR THEY'RE HAPPY HERE
THERE'S STILL CAUSE FOR CONCERN.
IT'S NOT ABOUT HOW THEY FEEL BUT WHAT THEY LEARN.

PARENTS
SURELY IT'S "HOW" THEY LEARN
NOT "WHAT" THAT'S BEST!

MONSIER FIENNES
THEORETICALLY, YES,
BUT IN PRACTICAL TERMS,
THE THREE R’S ARE BEING IGNORED.
THE ROOM IS RIFE WITH MISBEHAVIOR
STUDENTS SLINGING SLURS LIKE SAILORS
SINGING AND DANCING ON THEIR DESKS.
YOU’VE NEVER SEEN SUCH WILLFULLNESS,
SUCH WANT OF SKILLS, SUCH RAMPANT STRESS.
THE STUDENTS RUN AROUND LIKE THEY’RE POSSESSED.

PARENT
(laughing)
Come on, Fiennes! YOU CAN’T BE SERIOUS.

PARENT
IT’S NOTHING SO MYSTERIOUS.

PARENT
DORAN’S APPROACH MAY BE UNORTHODOX.

MONSIEUR FIENNES
“UNORTHODOX” IS NOT THE WORD
HE LETS THEM GET AWAY WITH MURDER.
ACTION IS REQUIRED.

PARENT
OH, WHAT A CROCK!

PARENT
WHAT’S THE DEAL?

PARENT
WHAT IS THIS, SOME KIND OF WANGLE?

MONSIEUR FIENNES
HE’S NOT MEETING THE STUDENTS’ NEEDS.
WE NEED A NEW PEDAGOGICAL ANGLE,
YES, IF WE TAKE THE RIGHT BENT,
I'M CONFIDENT
OUR STUDENTS CAN SUCCEED.

(HER FEIN and the OTHERS freeze as lights dim on them and go up on MONSIEUR ONFRAY and MARCUS.)

MONSIEUR ONFRAY
Marcus, WHATEVER THE “WHOLE CHILD” MEANS
IT’S JUST A HILL OF BEANS
TO THE INSPECTORS. THE STUDENTS’ “WHOLE CHILD” WILL BE FINE.
FOR NOW, YOU’LL HAVE TO TOW THE LINE.

MARCUS
BUT I’M...

MONSIEUR ONFRAY
YOU SIMPLY HAVE NO TIME!

MARCUS
OKAY, OKAY. YOU WIN. WHAT’S A “LEARNING OBJECTIVE?”
FROM YOUR PERSPECTIVE?

MONSIEUR ONFRAY
IT’S JUST A PITHY BLURB
WITH A CLEAR-CUT VERB
THAT TELLS EXACTLY WHAT THE STUDENTS WILL DO.

MARCUS
THE STUDENTS WILL BE SCREWED.

(MARCUS and MONSIEUR ONFRAY freeze again. Lights up on MONSIER FIENNES and the OTHERS. Music vamps under the following.)

PARENT
Out with it, Monsieur Fiennes . What do you suggest?

MONSIER FIENNES
I FEEL A SENSE OF URGENCY
GIVEN THE STUDENTS’ PLIGHT
TO SET OUR SCHOOL UPON A DIFFERENT TACK.
ALTHOUGH I KNOW IT'S A BITTER PILL
THIS METHOD’S LACK OF ACADEMIC SKILLS
IS HOLDING EVERY ONE OF OUR STUDENTS BACK.
AND SINCE THE TEACHERS ARE RESPONSIBLE.
WE'RE HOLDING THEM ACCOUNTABLE.
THE INSPECTIONS WILL BE ONE WEEK FROM TODAY.

PARENTS
What? YOU CAN'T DO THAT!

MONSIER FIENNES
I'M AFRAID I CAN.
WE'LL KNOW
MUCH SOONER THAN WE'D PLANNED
WHICH TEACHERS WILL GO
AND WHICH WILL STAY.

PARENT
Hey!

PARENT
YOU CAN'T JUST PINK-SLIP OUR CHILDREN'S TEACHERS!

PARENTS
AND ON A WHIM!

PARENTS
AND IN THE MIDDLE OF THE YEAR!

PARENTS
YOU'RE AFTER HIM!

MONSIER FIENNES
NO, I ASSURE YOU THAT'S ABSURD.
YOU'LL FIND
THE COMMISSION GUIDELINES
ARE CLEAR.

PARENTS
YOU CAN'T JUST HIJACK THE LEARNING PROCESS
JUST TO STIR UP A HORNET’S NEST.

PARENT
YOU CAN'T UPSET THE CHILDREN'S HAPPINESS.

PARENT
SO THEY CAN BUBBLE CIRCLES IN ON TESTS!

MONSIER FIENNES
THE COMMISION, THEY HEAR YOUR PROTESTS.
I'LL DO WHAT I CAN TO MAKE SURE THEY'RE ADDRESSED.

PARENTS
HOW COULD YOU DO THIS?
THE SCHOOL THAT WE KNEW IS
PRACTICALLY THROUGH!
WE OUGHT TO SUE!
SUMMERHAVEN IS WHERE MY SHATZI,
MY SWEET CHOU-CHOU,
MY LITTLE LOUP,
MY SWEET BABBOO,
LEARNS BEST.

(MONSIER FIENNES and the OTHERS freeze as lights go back up on MONSIEUR ONFRAY and MARCUS.)

MONSIEUR ONFRAY
HOW WILL YOU KNOW YOU’VE MET THEIR NEEDS?

MARCUS
(to MONSIEUR ONFRAY)
I’LL WATCH THEM CLOSELY, TRY TO READ
THEIR EVERY MOVEMENT.
WHEN EVERY LINE THEIR BODIES TRACE
MIRRORS THE JOY UPON THEIR FACES,
THAT’S HOW I’LL GUAGE THEIR IMPROVEMENT.
OUR STORIES RESONATE, THEY TOUCH THEIR VERY SPIRIT!

MONSIEUR ONFRAY
ARE YOU FINISHED PREACHING? WELL, GOOD.
NOW BACK TO TEACHING. YOU COULD
USE A VERB LIKE “DEMONSTRATE,” “RECITE,” OR “APPLY.”

MARCUS
YOU PICK.

MONSIEUR ONFRAY
WHY SHOULD I?

MARCUS
(resigned)
THE STUDENTS WILL “ABSORB.”

MONSIEUR ONFRAY
COME, MARCUS, THINK! DON’T ASK THE ORB.
YOU NEED A VERB THAT GIVES RESULTS YOU CAN TEST.

MARCUS
THE STUDENTS WILL “MANIFEST!”

MONSIEUR ONFRAY
KEEP TRYING!

MARCUS
HUSH! I CAN’T THINK STRAIGHT.
THE STUDENTS WILL “REGURGITATE
SPOON-FED FACTOIDS.”

(Music vamps as MONSIEUR ONFRAY and MARCUS freeze and lights come up on MONSIEUR FIENNES and the OTHERS. The PARENTS, grumbling, file out of the spotlight into the darkness with the BOARD MEMBERS, who seem satisfied. GEORGES approaches MONSIEUR FIENNES.)

GEORGES
I’m with you, Monsieur Fiennes. But if Doran is fired, what will happen to the school?

MONSIEUR FIENNES
Now, now. No one is getting fired, Monsieur Crier. He will simply fail the commission scolaire inspection. The situation will resolve itself naturally.

(MONSIEUR FIENNES exits as lights dim on GEORGES. Lights up on MARCUS and MONSIEUR ONFRAY.)

MONSIEUR ONFRAY
MARCUS, THEY MEAN BUSINESS.

MARCUS
I KNOW! I KNOW! I JUST
CAN’T GET INTO THE GROOVE.
(The music vamps as something dawns on MARCUS.)
THE CHILDREN WILL “MOVE...”

MONSIEUR ONFRAY
MARCUS, THAT’S MORE LIKE IT!

MARCUS
NOT “MOVE,” NO, THEY’LL “INTERPRET”...

MONSIEUR ONFRAY
I LIKE THIS YOU. NOW, THIS IS AN IMPROVEMENT!

MARCUS
THE STUDENTS WILL “INTERPRET
THE MAIN IDEA OF THE LESSON THROUGH MOVEMENT!”

MONSIEUR ONFRAY
THAT’S IT!

MARCUS
THE STUDENTS WILL INTERPRET
THE MAIN IDEA THROUGH MOVEMENT.

MONSIEUR ONFRAY
I’D SAY YOU’VE GOT YOURSELF A LESSON PLAN.
YOU’VE GOT A PLAN.

MARCUS
I THINK I UNDERSTAND.

MARCUS AND MONSIEUR ONFRAY
YOU’VE/I’VE GOT IT!

Words and Music by Michael Johnson
© 2022, Zubsongs, Ltd.